God is so good!

Sometimes God just knocks your socks off! Today we got a check from our church treasurer. We had received a few checks in our fundraiser bottles last week that were made out to the church, not us. So, she took them and then wrote one check to us. Added together, the checks totaled $500, half of the total amount we raised.

Well, when we opened the envelope and saw the check we about fell over. Apparently a few more checks trickled in for the fundraiser. With the addition of these new donations, our new total is......get ready for it......drumroll please.......

$2,200!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am shock. Thank you so much everyone. I was so excited to have enough money to pay the USCIS fee. Now we also actually have a "nest egg" started toward the BIG fee that will come at the time of our baby's referral. It's great to know that we are another $1,000 closer toward being able to pay that huge invoice without taking out a ridiculously large loan. God knows what we can and can't handle and God is GOOD!

In the name of Jesus!

A few months ago, Kaden started waking up several times at night because he'd had a bad dream. We taught him that when he was scared, he could call on Jesus to make the scary things go away. It definitely helped, because we'd hear him call out to Jesus in the middle of the night, and then he'd go right back to sleep.

Lately, Kaden has been "scared" of everything. I don't know if it's because of the Halloween season or what, but he's become quite the scaredy cat. He also uses it as a convenient excuse. If we need to go change his diaper he says, "We can't go upstairs to change my diaper. There are monsters in my closet." If I ask him to go get his shoes so we can go somehwere, "I can't get them by myself. I'm too scared."

Well, the other day we were at my parent's house. My mom asked Kaden to go into their office to get something. Kaden replied, "I can't. There's an alligator in the office. I'm scared of alligators." Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

T: There is no alligator in the office Kaden.
K: Yes, there is.
T: No, there's not. Now get in there.
K: But, I'm scared.

At this point, I started to tell mom about how he's scared of everything these days. While talking, I saw him inching closer and closer to the closet door. Then all of a sudden, he put his hand out in front of him and said in his most evangelistic voice:

"In the name of JESUS alligator!"

Then he walked right into the office. It was sooooooooo funny!

This past week was a lot of fun because Ryan's parents were here from Indiana. Kaden had a great time with Mam Maw and Pap Paw. He was very sad when it was time for them to leave and told them he wanted to go to Farmland too! I think we convinced him that he should stay here with Mommy & Daddy. But, we promised him that we are going to go to Indiana after his birthday sometime in May.

So, later that day, after they had left, Kaden and I had the following conversation.

K: I'm 3
T: No, you're 2
K: I'm 3
T: Kaden, you're 2. You haven't had your birthday yet.
K: But I want to be 3 so we can go to Indiana.

How he put all that together himself is beyond me! I am constantly amazed at my little guy's intelligence.

Harvest Farms & Adoption Update

Saturday we took Kaden to Harvest Farms to pick a pumpkin. It was so much fun! They had a great play area, a petting zoo, a hayride, and lots of other fun activites. Of course, there was pumpkin picking as well. Here is a scrapbook page of the festivities. I'm blaming Ye-In for the top photo! He had just taken his other hand down off his face when I snapped the shot.



After the pumpkin patch, we went out to eat to celebrate Ryan's 32nd birthday. He is now as old as me! Sometimes I really hate being the "older" woman. I had to turn 30 first, will turn 40 first, will turn 50 first, etc.!

In adoption news, we haven't heard anything yet since our last update. I am really hoping that our social worker was able to get our homestudy typed up this past weekend as planned. If she did, then she should be calling or e-mailing soon to let us know that it's done. Then she will fax it to us to proofread. Once that is done, it must be approved by the main agency office. Once it's approved, she will make the official signed, stamped copies and we will be "officially" waiting!

After we receive our official signed, stamped copy of the homestudy, we submit it along with a form called the I-600A, official copies of our birth certificates and marriage liscence, and a hefty to check to the immigration department. We already paid out twice as much for the homestudy itself. So, we decided to do a fundraiser through our church to raise the money for the immigration paperwork fee and to recoup the cost of the homestudy.

We handed out baby bottles and prayer cards two weeks ago and asked everyone to fill them up with change and return them in two weeks, which was yesterday. During Kaden's afternoon nap, Ryan counted and sorted all the change. There was over $200 just in coins! When you add in the checks and cash that were received as well, the grand total came to $918!!! Do we have an awesome church body, or what? Since the immigration fee is $965, this is perfect. We can't thank everyone enough for their support.

When Kaden woke up, came downstairs, and saw all the money laying on our coffee table, his eyes got really big and he said, "Whoa. Is that money for me? I'm gonna need a bigger piggy bank!" Ryan did his best to explain that the money was not for him and what it was going to be used toward. So then Kaden said, "Oh. It's my sister's money." He understands much more than we give him credit for sometimes.

Catch the Blog Train!

We're having a great party over at All Things Visual. Come join the fun! There's games, challenges, freebies, prizes, and a chance to win a $20 gift certificate. Plus, check out Kelley's new products including hybrid albums. Ride our blog train and collect enough quickpages to fill a Maya Road 5-ring album. You can snag my contributions (pictured below) by clicking HERE. Then go on to Lynette's blog to pick up two more great pages and the next blog link!


Speaking of hybrid Maya Road albums, I recently completed one! I took all of the layouts I have created using Kelley's products and resized them to fit onto these cute cards. I decorated the box using "Cowgirl's Dream". I'm really happy with how it turned out. To see the full-size versions of each of the layouts, just go to my gallery. The card box and cards are available HERE.

Join the Party!

Yours truly is hosting a template challenge on Saturday, October 18 at 1:00 p.m. in the All Things Visual party forum. One lucky winner will receive a $5 gift certificate to the store!

Also, check back here on Friday. We are having a blog train and will be giving pieces to complete a full 5-ring tab album by Maya Road. Kelley now has these available at All Things Visual. You can see the album here. You don't want to miss the beautiful quickpages we've created for it!

Quick Update

It turns out we don't need the Indiana background check after all. Yay! The State of Kansas only requires that you go back 5 years and Ryan has lived here for 11 now, so no problem.

Also, I have updated the subscription section of my blog. Apparently the one I was using before went out of business. So, to subscribe, simply enter your e-mail in the field to the right. Then you can have my blog entries sent directly to your e-mail, and you don't have to remember to check the blog. It's much easier to keep up that way. I subscribe to several blogs and would be lost without FeedBlitz!

We had our homestudy today!

We had our homestudy visit today. It went really well, but we found out that we need to have another background check done for Ryan. Because of the Adam Walsh act, you have to have clearance from every state you have lived in since age 18 in order to adopt. We didn't know this before, so now I'm going crazy trying to figure out how to get the appropriate forms. Those of you in Indiana, I'd appreciate your help in acquring these!

Anyway, once the background check has cleared, our social worker will type up the homestudy report and fax it to us to proofread. She'll then make any necessary corrections and send it to the main Holt office. They will approve it or ask her to make changes. Once it's approved, she will make 6 official, notarized copies and send them back to the main office. Then we'll get a copy to submit with our USCIS paperwork and we will OFFICIALLY be on the waiting list for our little girl! Yeah!

We are doing a fundraiser through our church to help offset the cost of the homestudy and USCIS fees. We have also asked for prayer for patience, provision, perfect timing, paperwork, and peace. Right now, paperwork is the really big one!

Here's a picture of our family taken today. I can't wait until there is a 4th member!

It's a Boy!

My sister delivered a beautiful baby boy today.  He was born at 4:48 p.m. and weighed 8 lbs., 14 oz. and was 20 1/2 inches long.  Emily had been scheduled to be induced this morning, but went into labor on her own while getting ready to go to the hospital!  She was in labor for 10 hours before the doctor ultimately ended up taking Isaiah via C-section.  Emily had invited me to witness the birth, so I was disappointed to miss out that experience, but just wanted what was best for my sister and nephew.  Her labor never progressed to where it needed to go, even after receiving patonin (sp?), and with Isaiah's size, the doctor felt a C-section was in Emily's best interest.

Here are some pictures of the big day.  It is now way past time for me to be in bed!

Is it really October?

Where did September go? Man time seems to be flying by these days. Ryan is busy harvesting, but should be done this week. Yeah! Before we know it, he'll be full time with the phone company. We are looking forward to having him home in the evenings.

This past weekend, we went to a picnic for families who have adopted through Holt International. It was so fun to connect with other adoptive families. Kaden had a great time. He still doesn't do very well playing with other kids. He prefers to be with adults. But, he did pretty well about waiting his turn, not pushing and shoving, etc. so I think we are headed in the right direction. They had a really fun playground at the picnic and he didn't want to leave.



I was able to speak with our social worker at the picnic. She will be coming to do our homestudy either October 11 or 12. Hurray! I am so glad to finally have this scheduled. Now I just need to work, work, work on getting the house ready.

I went to the sack sales today to get some great deals on new clothes. I was able to fill two sacks full and pay only $10 for a bunch of clothing for myself, Kaden, and our future daughter. They never have much in the men's department, so Ryan missed out! But, I was in desperate need of some clothing that actually fits since I lost 15 pounds since July 15. I am planning on losing even more (need to start exercising now and not just dieting), so I didn't want to spend a lot of money on clothing that will, hopefully, not fit in a few months. That's why I love sack sales!

Tractors and Toilet Paper

Kaden got to ride in the tractor with Daddy today. He loves to do that and once Ryan begins full-time at the phone company he won't get as many chances. So, I plan to let him ride with Ryan as much as he wants during the upcoming harvest!

As we were in the van and leaving town to go out to the farm, I noticed something blowing in the wind down the street near my parents' house. So, we drove past there to investigate. It turns out they were TP'd! Since we live in a college town and Dad works there, this happens at least once a year.

So, I parked the car and pointed it out to Kaden. Then we had the following conversation:

Me: "Kaden, what's that in Grandpa & Grandma's trees?"
K: "I don't know."
Me: "It's toilet paper."
K: "Ewwww.......that's nasty! Toilet paper goes in the potty, not trees!"

In his cute toddler voice, it sounded more like, "Ewwww.....dat's naseee! Toewet papuh goez in da poddy, nawht twees!"

Most kids would say "gross" or "icky". But, I do tend to use the word "nasty" quite often and so does Ryan, so I know Kaden picked it up from us. He has quite the vocabulary!

More Kaden Funnies

Kaden has picked up on some things from Ryan. They, luckily, are good things and a credit to his character. Ryan is always very complimentary of me and often tells me how nice I look or how much he likes what I am wearing. So, every morning now Kaden compliments me on my appearance.

Now here's the funny part! Kaden is too young yet to know what is appropriate to comment on and what is not! Here's what he had to say today as I was getting dressed:

"Mommy, I like your green bra. It's very pretty."
(Yes, I have a green bra.)

And as we put clothes in the dryer later today:

"Is this your yellow underwear Mommy? I like it a lot!"
Then he proceeded to put it on his head and shout "Underwear, underwear, underwear!"

Oh my! He does compliment me on my outwear as well, so that's a relief. He's also picked up on other things from Ryan too. Ryan rarely calls me by my name. He usually refers to me as "Hon", "Babe", or "Funny Bunny". So, I'll give you three guesses what Kaden's been calling me lately!

"Can I have a snack hon?"
"Thanks for getting my teddy bear babe."
"Funny Bunny! Funny Bunny! I need my sippy cup."

Usually when he does this I just look around as if trying to find another person in the room and then ask, "Who are you talking to?" Then he smiles and says, "Mommy! I mean Mommy!"

Finally, he has listened in on enough of our conversations to have figured out that we have other names that other people call us. The other day Ryan and I were having a conversation and apparently Kaden didn't feel we were giving him enough attention. He yelled at us, "Hey! Ryan and Tricia!"

We have quite the precocious 2-year-old!

Our part's done!

We received our homestudy packet yesterday. Since we've done this before, I knew exactly what would be in it and had prepared as much ahead of time as I could. So, this morning, I sent it all back to her. That means everything we can do to be ready for the homestudy has been done (paperwork wise). Now we'll just be waiting on our references to get in and the KBI & SRS background checks. Once those have been received they will invoice us and schedule a date for the homestudy. I really hope it can be done soon. I hate waiting!

But, while we wait, we have a lot of housework to do. They don't like to see any peeling paint or any type of remodeling at all. We have to have a "safe" environment for the children. So, since our house is very old, we have a lot of work to do to get it up to snuff. It's amazing how much it has deteriorated just in the past 3 years since Kaden's homestudy. There was no peeling paint back then.

Anyway, things are progressing. The case worker has recommended that we go ahead and put in our waiting child application too. I was going to wait until our homestudy was complete, but she said the wait list is long enough that it would be better to get on now. The chances of us getting a referral before the homestudy is complete is very unlikely. So, we might as well have our names in the queue so that when it is ready, so are we!

I think we are going to be launching a fundraiser soon. The homestudy fee and I-600A fee (which is filed with the homestudy) have both gone up significantly since Kaden's process. It will be $3,000 total. So, we are going to distribute baby bottles at church and ask people to fill it up with change for us. Every little bit will help. I'm trying not to freak out ahead of time about the $20,000 bill that we'll get with the referral. God will figure it all out, but it sure is daunting.

Adoption Update

Well, it's been 2 weeks now since we submitted our application for baby #2. Time is already going quickly! We still haven't received our homestudy packet, but there was a message on our answering machine earlier from the case worker. So, I'm guessing she was calling to let us know it's on the way.

We missed her call because we had full morning. We left home at 7:45 and drove to the police station where we were fingerprinted. After that, I had a doctor's appointment while Ryan had a dentist appointment. Then we switched and I went to the dentist while he went to the doctor. Finally, be both had HIV and tuberculosis tests. So, at least we got several steps of the homestudy done and out of the way without even having the packet yet!

When we do receive the packet we will be faced with a mountain of paperwork. The fingerprint cards will need to be sent to the KBI along with payment to have background checks run. We will also have to send a form to SRS with payment to be cleared with them as well. Then there's the ever-so-fun 16 page questionarie full of personal questions to complete. Add to that a full financial worksheet/statement, employment verifications, certified copies of birth and marriage certificates, and you pretty much have our entire life on paper! After Holt receives all of this plus our medical reports from today and our personal references, we will be able to proceed with the actual homestudy. Oh, and don't forget the payment for that! They won't schedule the homestudy until that hefty check has been sent.

We would appreciate your prayers as we continue to jump over the hurdles that are adoption. If the above list sounded bad, wait until you hear about the I-600A, I-600, FBI fingerprinting/background checks, I-864, etc., etc. When we do finally get a referral and accept, we have about 16 documents that have to be signed and notarized in QUADRUPLICATE!!!

But, all the hoops are worth it. We are very excited to be on this journey for a second time. Kaden is such a blessing and we know God has big things in store for us with baby #2. I saw a T-Shirt the online that I would like to save up to buy (it's $29.50 which is a bit pricey to me). But, I love what it says:

WARNING!

I am in love with a child I haven't met yet.

I am in the process of adoption.

I am subject to cry at any moment.

Please bear with me until my referral comes.

EDIT: The case worker just called back. She is going to send me everything she can electronically so we can get the ball rolling. The added benefit to this method is that I can just fill everything in on the computer and e-mail the documents back. It saves postage! The other great news is that we don't have to do the full 16-page questionnaire again. She said to simply update any information that needs updated and leave the rest blank. They asked a lot of questions about our childhood, how we met, etc. Since all that information stays the same, we don't have to fill it all out again. Hooray!

Gotcha Day #2

Can you believe Kaden has been home for 2 years already?  I'll never forget that monumental day 2 years ago.  I was so excited and nervous about meeting my baby boy for the first time.  I could have never imagined the joy and happiness that lay ahead for me!

We had a great time celebrating with Kaden.  We took him to the zoo and then let him choose where we ate lunch.  Of course, he chose McDonald's!  Then we did some shopping and met my parents for dinner.  Kaden got presents and got to eat pizza.  I think he'd agree it was a great day!

We also told Kaden his Gotcha Day story.  He grinned ear to ear as we told him how excited we were to meet him and how it was the best day of our lives.  He is very proud of his story and I hope he always will be.  We love you sweet boy!

Here's some pictures of our special day:

From the mouths of babes......

Today Kaden and I cleaned up his play room.  It was so cluttered, no "playing" could actually occur because there was no floor space!  Anyway, once it was cleaned up he was delighted to realize he could now use his Sit 'N Spin because he had plenty of room. 

He was spinning along, having a great 'ole time, and then asked me if I'd like to try it.  I told him it was very nice of him to offer but that my booty was too big.  He got up, came over to me, and said, "Let me see."  He then stared at my rear for awhile and exclaimed, "Yep.  It's big alright!"

What's in a nickname?

I'm not even sure how it happened, but when Ryan and I started dating, we began to refer to each other as Funny Bunny (me) and Silly Goose (him).  When Kaden came home, we called him many different nicknames.  He was Wiggle Worm, Cranky Pants, Smiley Boy, Pumpkin Head, and many others. Nothing seemed to "stick" until we came across Buddy Bear.  Now he'll even tell you that he's Buddy Bear!

So, all of our nicknames are animals.  The other day, we were trying our hardest to come up with a nickname for our next child.  We couldn't seem to come up with anything, at least not animal related.  But today, the inspiration came!  Ryan said, "You'd better write the story of how this name came about now before you forget it."  So here I am, blogging the story.

Kaden and Ryan were playing a game.  Kaden would cover himself up in his blanket and then Ryan would say, "I wonder what's under that blanket?  Is it a cow?"  Kaden would respond by making the sound of the animal just mentioned.  Then Ryan would run through a list of types of that animal.  "Is it a Jersey cow?  Is it an Angus?  No! (he lifts the blanket) It's a Kaden cow!"  Then they'd both giggled and the game would begin again.

Well, as Ryan was listing different types of sheep, he said, "Is it a little lamb?"  For some reason, that just struck me!  It was like a light bulb came on over my head.  Little lamb!  That's it!  That's our little girl's nickname.

So, Little Lamb, Mommy, Daddy, & Brother are excited to be starting the journey to you!

It's Official!

I submitted our online application with Holt International this morning. They will send us an adoption agreement that must be signed and notarized and then we should recieve our approval and homestudy packet! My goal is to have our homestudy completed and sent to Korea by the end of the year. Then we will officially apply with the Waiting Child program to request a girl. After that, it's anybody's guess. We could get a referral within a few weeks, or it could take over a year. But, hopefully by the end of 2009 we will have a daughter!

Kaden's 2 year-old pictures

Although they're 3 months late, we finally got around to having Kaden's 2-year-old portraits taken. We tried JC Penney's this time around because Portrait Innovations is closed on Mondays and we were trying to fit a photo shoot in with a doctor's appointment, so the day wasn't movable.

At PI, they taken about 60 photos for you to choose from. JCP only took a total of 17! But, all 17 turned out really great. Kaden was a perfect angel for the session. The photographer said she was the best 2-year-old she'd ever had. He followed every single one of her directions and even posed himself for several shots!

But, unlike PI, JCP is not very affordable. So, I was only able to get the advertised portrait package and could only choose one photo. Since I was going for "look who's 2", I chose the best one of him with the present and #2 cake. I really liked the one of him with his elbow on his knee too. It was so hard to decide.

Another disappointing thing about JCP is that the online viewing for the pictures is very, very small. It's really hard to see the pictures and you can't enlarge them at all. Plus, you have to enter your full name to get into the site. That's not exactly something I want to post here on the internet for the world to see. So, rather than giving you the link to the site, I have created a collage out of my favorites of the 17 poses. Sorry they are so small!

In regards to my last post, nothing definitive has been decided. I'm just holding on for now. After Ryan is full-time at the telephone company and we've had a chance to figure out the new insurance, we will re-evaluate. I have another appointment with the doctor on Nov. 9. Hopefully she can answer a lot of my questions about the hysterectomy at that time. I'm also hoping that the new insurance will cover a visit to a endometriosis specialist in Nebraska. I guess only time will tell.

Major Life Changes Ahead

I am 32. At least, I think I am. Anymore, it's hard to tell. I feel like an old, old woman. I have some major decisions to make that I don't think anyone at my age should have to face.

What am I talking about? The big "H" word. Hysterectomy. My endometriosis has been getting very, very bad again. I had laproscopic surgery 4 years ago and the pain subsided for awhile. The doctor is now tellingme that doing another lap would be a waste of money, my time, and her time. So, here are my options:

• Do Nothing. Keep living with the pain for now. Revisit options 2 & 3 at a later date.
• Take Lupron. This is a highly controversial drug that would throw me into early menopause. While it would help the pain, it has many negative side effects and is still just a temporary fix.
• Hysterectomy. This would stop the endometriosis and could possibly help the IC as well. But, I would have to take measures to prevent premature aging, loss of bone density, and to maintain hormonal balance. There's also a higher risk of cancer and heart disease and if I do take HRT, the endo on my intestines will still grow. Plus, it takes away any hope of ever having a biological child. I don't really have any false hopes of ever conceiving, but it is a loss I'll have to grieve.

After doing a lot of research on Lupron and talking to people who have taken it, I think I would honestly just rather do the hyst and get it over with. So then the biggest issue is timing. If I were to have it done now, before October 1, the surgery would be free. We've already met our deductible for this year because of Ryan's broken hand. But, the timing is bad. I am teaching a class and would not be able to miss several weeks in a row. Ryan will be in harvest in September and then he starts a new job. Mom is saving her days off for when my sister's baby is born. So while we could probably find people to care for Kaden, who would take care of me? Or, should I wait and keep muddling through until I'm 40 and then not worry about HRT?

I am overwhelmed by this all and would really appreciate prayer. I want to have God's peace and a clear sense of discernment regarding this decision. I want to be sure that whatever course I choose, I will have no regrets and will be able to see that God's hand led me to that decision. Right now, everything is very unclear. I feel as though I am in a dark, locked room and am groping for the light switch.

On Friday, Ryan and I will have been married 10 years. Can you believe it? When I look back on my wedding day, I realize that I could have never imagined the road that life would take us on. As a idealistic bride, it never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to have a baby or that I would be facing a huge life changing decision like this one at age 32. I am very glad that infertility led us to Kaden, but the medical side of it has become more than I can bear.

So, please pray, pray, pray!

Exciting News!

I've lost 10 lbs.!!!! Yeah!!!! My pants are literally starting to fall off of me and I couldn't be happier. I just started this diet, actually more of a lifestyle change, just 3 weeks ago. Seeing the change in how my clothing fits has definitely motivated me to keep it up. I know that the first 10 lbs. are always the easiest to lose and then it gets harder from there. I'd ideally like to lose another 20, so I've got a ways to go.